Can't stop listening to this

"Julius Caesar was a chubby-chaser"

Is the first line of Slate's article on girth and prominence. It goes on to explain:

Back in the day, heft was associated with gravitas and power, leadership, and trust. Fat blokes, by their very physiques, projected monumental indestructability. Even when they were rotting with syphilis (Henry VIII) or prone to decapitating their spouses (Henry VIII, again) they were somehow preferable to those malevolent skinny fellows (Richard III).

Magic behind the magic

Size matters

When to buy things?

History of America by conservatives

The New Yorker's Shouts and Murmurs are terrific this week. 

It starts with

1500s: The American Revolutionary War begins: “The reason we fought the revolution in the sixteenth century was to get away from that kind of onerous crown.”—Rick Perry 

1607: First welfare state collapses: “Jamestown colony, when it was first founded as a socialist venture, dang near failed with everybody dead and dying in the snow.”—Dick Armey 

1619-1808: Africans set sail for America in search of freedom: “Other than Native Americans, who were here, all of us have the same story.”—Michele Bachmann

and gets better. 

Dog shaming

My friend LegalSkiBum recommends you check out Dog Shaming. Couple of examples:

and

Random images

A few random, and unrelated, photos from Reddit:

Guess the storyline

Let's guess what the young lady in the following pictures was thinking.

Answer here.

Poor girl, caught on national TV.

Amazon product as a writing prompt

People are using Amazon to write stories with an amazing outcome. A few samples are below and more here.

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger.

And

What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!

Memorable speeches - part 1

From Boiler Room, Affleck owns the room:

For my friend Chris

"Quotable Expressions Wall Banner, A Day Without Laughter Is A Day Wasted, 10 ft" (Google Affiliate Ad)

The perfect ringtone

Do you remember the moment in Pulp Fiction when Jules is asked by the robber to give him his wallet and Jules pulls out this?

And you realized it was the perfect wallet that embodies Jules' coolness, don't give a shit attitude and general badassery.

I've found the perfect ringtone (actually multiple) that unifies the same things plus cultural relevance and an extra dose of badass. This is a real quote and not voice actor.

The perfect ringtone. 

More here, courtesy of Regretsy.

The full Pulp Fiction scene is below, with the best moment at 12:18.

Regional guide to sandwiches

Who knew Dutch Crunch was a Bay Area thing?

More at Serious Eats.

I said I'll do it

Complaint letter

More at Letters of Note.