Dec 6, 2011

Decreasing power of God

What can't inflation do?





Dec 5, 2011

Gum

Quick verse:

The gum-chewing girl and the cud-chewing cow

Seem somewhat alike, yet different somehow.

Ah, yes, there it is! I see it all now!

It's the intelligent look on the face of the cow.

[no hidden message intended, this is just a quick verse]

Nov 30, 2011

Texts from Bennett

I don't know or care if this is made up, it made me laugh.






Nov 29, 2011

Christian rock 'n' roll

Fortune cookie

Do you know that game where you add "in bed" to fortunes you get in Chinese cookies?





Nov 28, 2011

Useful Friday

If you keep forgetting who borrowed your stuff: http://www.returnmypants.com/

Nov 22, 2011

Worst employee stories

From reddit:

One employee over the course of one year. She's since been fired.


The first 30 minutes of my first day she storms into my office, hands on her hips, and says "I'm Vicki!"

"Hi Vicki, I'm [name]."

"I know that you computer people can see everything. And if you hack my bank accounts, I'll sue you!!!"

"Well Vicki, don't use company resources to conduct your personal banking and we shouldn't have a problem."

She didn't speak to me for three months.


Another time I told her to look something up on Wikipedia.

She replies "Oh, I don't use Wikipedia."

"Why not?"

"I don't support the Wiccans."


She denied an insurance claim where a reindeer had bitten a farm-hand on the hand.

"Vicki, why did you deny this claim?"

"Because the insured says he was bitten by a reindeer."

"Yeah.... so?"

(In a very sarcastic tone) "Well, what do you think happened? A reindeer just swooped down out of the sky and bit the guy??"

She didn't know that a reindeer was an actual animal.


She tells me one day her husband is a really great guy because he spends his free time helping to "clean up the internet."

I ask her what she means and she told me she found a bunch of porn in husbands web browser history. He informed her that he goes to porn sites to download the porn off of the internet servers onto his computer so that he can delete it. Apparently there's a lot of porn on the internet, but he was trying to do what he could to remove as much of it as possible - for the children and all...

She actually believes that he is doing this and uses it as a bragging point to show what a great guy her husband is in conversations.

More here.

Nov 21, 2011

Only one way to say it

This is f***ing cool

Faber Castell

Nov 17, 2011

Nov 16, 2011

Selling skillz

This guy is badass