Worst employee stories

From reddit:

One employee over the course of one year. She's since been fired.

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The first 30 minutes of my first day she storms into my office, hands on her hips, and says "I'm Vicki!"

"Hi Vicki, I'm [name]."

"I know that you computer people can see everything. And if you hack my bank accounts, I'll sue you!!!"

"Well Vicki, don't use company resources to conduct your personal banking and we shouldn't have a problem."

She didn't speak to me for three months.

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Another time I told her to look something up on Wikipedia.

She replies "Oh, I don't use Wikipedia."

"Why not?"

"I don't support the Wiccans."

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She denied an insurance claim where a reindeer had bitten a farm-hand on the hand.

"Vicki, why did you deny this claim?"

"Because the insured says he was bitten by a reindeer."

"Yeah.... so?"

(In a very sarcastic tone) "Well, what do you think happened? A reindeer just swooped down out of the sky and bit the guy??"

She didn't know that a reindeer was an actual animal.

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She tells me one day her husband is a really great guy because he spends his free time helping to "clean up the internet."

I ask her what she means and she told me she found a bunch of porn in husbands web browser history. He informed her that he goes to porn sites to download the porn off of the internet servers onto his computer so that he can delete it. Apparently there's a lot of porn on the internet, but he was trying to do what he could to remove as much of it as possible - for the children and all...

She actually believes that he is doing this and uses it as a bragging point to show what a great guy her husband is in conversations.

More here.