May 28, 2013

Hipster as American Psycho

I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
That's a quote from American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, a novel that's (partly) about the lead character's superficiality and unashamed pursuit of status, wealth, pleasure and visual appeal at any cost.

A Twitter user finitor makes an interesting observation:

Can't you just see 2013 Patrick Bateman living in Brooklyn and obsessing over polyorganic maple syrup from Vermont, hand produced by blind artisan monks, that's slowly poured over gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, nut-free, fodmap-free crepes based on a French recipe by Andre Papalmous Njienxga, a Filipino-Ghanian chef who grew up in Chile, all served on jar covers that were hand designed by Syrian refugees.

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