I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
That's a quote from American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, a novel that's (partly) about the lead character's superficiality and unashamed pursuit of status, wealth, pleasure and visual appeal at any cost.
A Twitter user finitor makes an interesting observation:
Finally read American Psycho, and you could totally swap it to 2013 Williamsburg with startup people namechecking artisanal food & cocktails
— finitor (@finitor) May 28, 2013
Can't you just see 2013 Patrick Bateman living in Brooklyn and obsessing over polyorganic maple syrup from Vermont, hand produced by blind artisan monks, that's slowly poured over gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, nut-free, fodmap-free crepes based on a French recipe by Andre Papalmous Njienxga, a Filipino-Ghanian chef who grew up in Chile, all served on jar covers that were hand designed by Syrian refugees.
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